To Those Who Don’t Understand Adoption

To those who don’t understand adoption:

“How much did your parents pay for you?” “Do you miss your real parents?” “You were abandoned?” “Do you remember your orphanage?”

And plenty other questions that I haven’t listed, but you’ve probably asked…

I’m not going to lie and say that the questions don’t bother me, but I understand why you have them. You weren’t adopted. You didn’t experience that. And that’s okay. We all have different journeys in life. But, let me help you better understand…

You know when you fell off your bike and scraped your leg? And your dad or your mom came and kissed it? Or those nights that you cried yourself to sleep, and your dad or mom comforted you? Or the first boy or girl that broke your heart? (Even if it was just by pushing you down on the playground.) See, those are issues that real parents deal with. They’re the ones that are there for you throughout all those life experiences, and many more. They nurture, love, and care for you. That’s what parenthood is. It’s not about blood. It’s about those people that love you for you and would do anything to make you happy.

I can try to speak for every parent that has adopted a child and say that adopting a child is scary, but scary in a way that is almost indescribable. It’s not walking into a haunted house and peeing your pants scary. It’s a feeling unlike any other. And you know what’s so incredibly neat about it? Adoptive parents CHOSE to do it. And, well, at least my mother has told me that it’s worth it. It’s so worth it.

So, though my family didn’t start exactly how yours did, that doesn’t make it any less of a family. Because your real parents happen to be your birth parents doesn’t make my adoptive parents any less real. Family is such a beautiful and precious thing. It should never be compared. Just like us as individuals, our families are unique and that’s what makes them beautiful and special to us.